The father agreed that he was at fault for refusing to pay for his daughter’s college after he paid for her brothers’ education.
Thanking thousands of anonymous netizens, the 57-year-old father took to Reddit to ask if he was a “******” for refusing to pay for her daughter’s education.
In his first post, u/Impressive-Mix-31 explained: “My daughter Jane – 21 – was recently accepted into the university of her choice and now my wife and I are happy with this news, the only thing is that Jane got accepted for a degree in English .”
Online, the topic of parents paying for their children to attend college comes up frequently. There’s a lot of debate about the right way to do things, from parents refusing to pay to fund their children’s education to paying for their own children but not their stepsons.
Student loan debt in the United States is over $1.7 trillion, and about 92 percent of all student debt comes from federal loans. President Joe Biden plans to wipe out a huge amount of student debt, delivering on his campaign promise to cancel $10,000 in federal student loan debt for those earning less than $125,000 or families making less than $250,000 annually.
Alex Mellor-Brook, Co-Founder of Internationally Certified Matchmaker and Relationship Coach at Select Personal Introductions, tells SELF. Newsweek: “You will never be able to treat your children the same way, because they are individuals with different needs, desires, and styles of communication. This can make it more difficult not to favor one child over another.
“A parent should always be aware of not letting their own need for gratification influence how they present their feelings to their children. Showing love, concern, and compassion to all children helps create a stable, loving environment that can lessen their perception of their own feelings of being a favorite child.”
Unlike her two older brothers, Jane had taken some time off from education by the age of 18: “She claimed she wasn’t ready and wanted to have a ‘break’, and a bit of a break is going out with friends and traveling for the past year,” said the father. I have provided Jane with all the money she needs for a little rest.”
While he said he and his wife did not envy their daughter taking a break, before allowing her to take the time to travel, they promised her that she would go to college and get a degree that was “worth it.” “
He explained, “Jane was going through a weird phase where she wanted so many things to be more on the creative side. Fast forward a year later, we found out that Jane had fallen behind us and applied for an English degree.”
With both of her brothers having medical degrees, the difference in the father’s eyes was stark. When he learned this, the father sat his daughter down to tell her that he would not pay.
Jane sat down last night and told her that if she decided to pursue an English degree I would not support her at all and that she would have to get her student loan, at which point she started crying claiming I was the ‘worst dad ever’ and had always preferred her brothers over her – now that’s not Quite right I literally paid for her travel for the last year,” said the father.
In thousands of responses, the father was dragged away by his actions.
“Because she chooses a score you don’t approve of, you punish her,” said one response, while another wrote, “I completely understand why she says you prefer her brothers, and this is clear evidence of that.”
A month later, the father shared an update with the Internet – and he seemed to have changed in tune.
“I’d like to start by saying that I appreciate all the comments that were made, however unpleasant they may be,” said u/Impressive-Mix-31. “They helped me understand that I was wrong and some gave me advice on what I should do if I wanted to stay in touch with my daughter.”
After reading thousands of responses to his first post, the father explained that it got him thinking.
“I realized I was living too much in the past and didn’t take into account how much things had changed in the last 30 years,” he explained. “I didn’t speak to Jane about her testimony until last Thursday, when I brought up the subject, she admitted to me that she was willing to take one of the certificates I had recommended to her. I told her there was no need for it and she looked at me as if I was playing a cruel joke, reassured her I was serious, and started crying. [due to happiness]. “
He revealed that his daughter will be attending Oxford University in the UK later in the year for the degree of her choice, and that the father-daughter relationship has never been better.
Upon reading the update, Redditors were thrilled that their online input led to a positive ending for the family.
“This is what I would love to see, ******* take the judgment that was given to them and decide to change for the better instead of staying stubborn,” said one Redditor. While another agreed: “Great news!”
Newsweek u/Impressive-Mix-31 has been reached for comment. We were unable to verify the details of this case.
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